Why Be Normal? The Radical Revolution of Being Yourself – Wake Up World

 
 

WHY BE NORMAL? The Radical Revolution of Being Yourself

By Parvati Devi

Guest writer for Wake Up World

One of the pivotal quotes that shaped my life growing up was from one of my favorite musical icons, David Bowie: “The worst trick God can play is to make you an artist, but a mediocre one.” Internalizing my version of his message, my motto became through high school and university that I would rather be an A or an F student than a C student.

Living by that belief, I developed two distinct personality traits. Either I would edit myself to please people with niceties, or I would plow through life with a fiery feistiness. Both extremes were fueled by a drive for what I understood to be “perfection”. The tension that lay between these two, and the fervour I put into trying to be “perfectly A” or “perfectly F”, eventually consumed my health and wellbeing.

By the end of high school and into my first year of university, I was exhausted and stressed because I was not being authentically myself. Though it took me completing university and facing the rest of my life to figure it out, I eventually realized that I had allowed other people’s voices, wishes and dreams to unconsciously run my life. My feistily polite drive for “perfection” was based on the fear that if I were myself, I would not be loved.

I share this because I believe this fear is not unique to me, but is surprisingly common. Sometimes in early childhood, and sometimes as residue from past lifetimes, we form the idea that we must be a certain way in order to receive the love we need to feel safe in the world. In many cases, we may not be aware that we have developed this belief. We only know that when we consider making a change, we may feel anxiety and resistance without knowing why.

In the process of trying to come to terms with which inner voices were mine and which were not, I discovered that my extreme personality traits were like healthy qualities on steroids. Through various illnesses and harsh life lessons, I learned to dial down the intensity of my attachment to an idea of perfection. I redirected the root energy that was driving it into more life-affirming expressions. I discovered that within my drive were many strong qualities, such as immense creativity, powerful zeal and an ability to harness raw momentum out of almost any situation. These qualities became my allies.

Drawing upon this, I learned to honour my inner voice rather than cater to the voice of others. I am fond of the late self-help author Debbie Ford’s shadow work approach. It helps transform lives, not by trying to get rid of “bad” qualities, but by finding the hidden teachings in all.

Learning to be true to myself has meant letting go of a lot of excess. I have had to look at releasing a tendency to become entangled in what others think. I needed to look at my defensiveness, learning to soften a general, ongoing feeling of being judged or attacked. I have had to watch the death of my niceties and my feisties so that I could find the courage to go within and fiercely honour my own unique rhythm and voice.

As I began to live a more soul-directed life, I realized that doing so was not really the norm. Looking back at the construct I had started to leave behind, I saw that though on the surface it seemed that society supported excellence, the pull to live in the status quo was stronger in the collective consciousness. It seemed most people were satisfied with fitting in and being “normal”.

Why Be Normal??

Midway through university, I started to wear a pin on my coat that asked the question: “Why be normal?” I meant it as a provocative and sincere question as to what normality really meant to the world at large and to anyone who noticed me wearing it.

What I came to realize is that there is nothing wrong with being an A, B, C, D or F student, if that is who you truly are. We each are unique expressions of a divine force and it is our job to discover what that is and express it in our life. The problem is, most of us go through life on autopilot, as though we are asleep, wondering why life feels like a bad dream, tending to react to our unconscious thoughts and desires rather than learning to live fully and authentically.

When you begin to wake up, you start to see what the mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn calls “the full catastrophe” of our lives. You learn to see the depth of your reactivity, the ways you give your power away to people and things because you perceive the source of love and happiness to be outside yourself. Deeper still, you learn to touch and be present for the silent voices like “I can’t” or “I am not loved” or “I am unworthy” that unconsciously influence your thoughts and actions.

When you come upon these old, hidden places within us, be willing to pause and befriend them, rather than run from them in an attempt to deny any pain you may feel. By welcoming your fullest self, you access your power. You learn to see that your dreams are feasible, and that you have all you need to realize them. You understand that your main obstacle has been yourself (no one else) and the antagonistic way you have seen the world.

I began to find my own response to the question “why be normal?” as I followed an impulse, a powerful yet quiet force that lay waiting behind my conscious thoughts. It was within me and made no logical sense. But did that matter? I felt alive. I felt open. I felt connected. And in so doing, I was a better, more inspired and loving person.

In learning to find our unique rhythms, we need to try things out. I went through a phase of sporting short, electric purple hair with fluorescent blue eyebrows. My regular dress was multi-coloured body paint hidden mysteriously under a wardrobe of solid black. Only after a phase of leopard skin, tutus and combat boots, followed by a love affair with haute couture, did I reveal my joy of full colour. That was when I got rid of everything black.

When I was living in New York City, I went through a phase where everywhere I went, I carried a rubber goldfish in the palm of my hand, that I called “Fishy”. There was no sense in it. It was my own whimsical performance-art piece. The jelly-like goldfish was my friend, so it went where I went. People got used to it and accepted it. It was funny. It made people pause, do a double take and laugh. I loved that pause. I loved the space it gave because it allowed for more authentic connections as we stepped out of “normal”.

A friend of mine from New York, Kelly Cutrone, published a book a few years ago called Normal Gets You Nowhere that shares her own brand of self-love. She believes normalcy inhibits the unique gifts everyone can offer the world and doesn’t necessarily bring happiness. I agree with Kelly that when we are true to who we are, it’s easier to be honest, it’s easier to be compassionate, and the world is a much better place.

Fierce Courage and Compassion

Being true to who you are is an ongoing process as you meet each moment of your life. It is not a final destination point but a ripening as you get to know yourself more fully. To be yourself requires a fierce courage because there is social momentum to “normalcy”, staying asleep and not awakening your true nature. In effect, there is no “normal”. There is either asleep or awake, to varying degrees.

When you honour your true nature, you shed light for others to do the same. But not everyone is ready or interested in such honesty. Connecting to your inner fierceness keeps you honest, instinctual, and in alignment with nature. Tapping into courage helps you move towards greater expansion. Developing compassion helps you understand the tendency to want to remain asleep. Because that tendency exists within us all, you can see yourself in others. However, in this moment, you choose to awaken.

When you are naturally who you are, you align your energy with the force of nature, a most potent force. It does not apologize for who it is. It does not sheepishly try to be something else. It does not look for approval. It simply is.

The flower does not question that it is a flower, nor does the lion question its nature. The flower quietly reflects beauty. The lion will tear off your head if you get too close. The flower does not question if it is too beautiful or delicate, nor does the lion struggle with guilt, doubt and self-reproach for the force of its claws. If the lion pretended to be a mouse, the lion would be unhappy. If the flower were crushed by concrete, it could not grow.

We all are works in progress, letting go of excess, reclaiming what we lost, discovering the new and rediscovering the forgotten. Driven by the ego that knows only fear and disconnect, our minds tend to seek control and manipulate reality to suit our core beliefs. In turn, we create complexity in the moment, in which we become entangled. By becoming mentally convoluted, we lose touch with the force of our innate intelligence that arises from deep within through our connection with nature.

If your joy is singing, then sing. If your joy is being a lawyer, then love it. If you want to sit and read a book, then lap it up. If you need to tell someone how you feel, then let that person know. And do it completely, with every ounce of your being. Whatever it is, if you stifle that connection with nature, your connection to who you are, everyone loses. When you honour it, everyone wins.

If there is truth in my desire to be either an A or an F student, it is that neither the drive for niceness nor the drive for feistiness was right for me. Both were a form of pushing or pulling at life, rather than riding the river I am. Each one of us has to find that flow, our own unique expression of the life force that moves within us. Groundbreaking modern dancer and choreographer Martha Graham provides an inspiring quote to illustrate this:

“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action. Because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.”

We often mistake compassion for sentimentality and love for sweetness. Love to me is fierce, an unbridled force that defies reason. It is the force that says, “I am that I am.” Compassion is an expression of that force through action. It calls us to serve through love for being here, for being part of it all.

When you don’t say what you need or share who you are, you are living in fear and, in effect, wasting your life and everyone else’s time. This life is short. The perils are many. Give yourself the gift of sharpening your inner clarity. See who you are and connect to your unique inner light so that you may shine as a beacon in the world.

Some people may not get it. Some people will. Either way, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you feel alive, plugged in and real. In tapping into such rooted, vital expansiveness, you send a message to the universe of possibility, of interconnection, saying “yes” to life. You have created a radical revolution – by being exactly who you are.

Today, and every day, I celebrate you.

 
PGlmcmFtZSBzcmM9J2h0dHBzOi8vcGFydmF0aS51czkubGlzdC1tYW5hZ2UuY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91PWZmZDQ2MDdiODUzNjMxNjI2NjA1NmI5MzgmaWQ9NTM4M2YyMTczMScgc3R5bGU9J2JvcmRlcjowJyB3aWR0aD0nMTAwJScgaGVpZ2h0PScxMDAlJz48L2lmcmFtZT4=
PGlmcmFtZSBzcmM9Imh0dHA6Ly9lZXB1cmwuY29tL2JsY05SdiIgc3R5bGU9IndpZHRoOjEwMCU7IGhlaWdodDogMTAwJTsiPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL2NwNXJybkVxQVpJP3JlbD0wJnNob3dpbmZvPTAiIGZyYW1lYm9yZGVyPSIwIiBhbGxvd2Z1bGxzY3JlZW4+PC9pZnJhbWU+
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iNTYwIiBoZWlnaHQ9IjMxNSIgc3JjPSJodHRwczovL3d3dy55b3V0dWJlLmNvbS9lbWJlZC9vNDdxTTBFemFiQT9saXN0PVBMcUZuTWlhRWtfX2NXcUhneHZzTW5MTzJkSXk4XzlXcGEmYW1wO2NvbnRyb2xzPTAmYW1wO3Nob3dpbmZvPTAiIGZyYW1lYm9yZGVyPSIwIiBhbGxvd2Z1bGxzY3JlZW4+PC9pZnJhbWU+
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0xMDAlIiBoZWlnaHQ9IjEwMCUiIHNyYz0iaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vZW1iZWQvdmlkZW9zZXJpZXM/bGlzdD1QTHFGbk1pYUVrX19mZkZIVndjODhXeGQ2WnVlUnFCUXh5IiBmcmFtZWJvcmRlcj0iMCIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL3ZpZGVvc2VyaWVzP2xpc3Q9UExxRm5NaWFFa19fZUZMZGk4bGs5ZmV2dFRXMTVidFFxSyIgZnJhbWVib3JkZXI9IjAiIGFsbG93ZnVsbHNjcmVlbj48L2lmcmFtZT4=
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL3ZpZGVvc2VyaWVzP2xpc3Q9UExxRm5NaWFFa19fZlRnVVVDdEsyUU5vWk5mdWNEM1ptMyIgZnJhbWVib3JkZXI9IjAiIGFsbG93ZnVsbHNjcmVlbj48L2lmcmFtZT4=
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iNjIwIiBoZWlnaHQ9IjM2MCIgc3JjPSJodHRwczovL3d3dy55b3V0dWJlLmNvbS9lbWJlZC9mSXI0UVpmOG5SND9yZWw9MCIgZnJhbWVib3JkZXI9IjAiIGFsbG93ZnVsbHNjcmVlbj48L2lmcmFtZT4=
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL2hqUlo5RTM1NjRZP3JlbD0wIiBmcmFtZWJvcmRlcj0iMCIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL2lCdC1SZG96d2VnP3JlbD0wIiBmcmFtZWJvcmRlcj0iMCIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL3JuLTNMbWp6R0tFP3JlbD0wIiBmcmFtZWJvcmRlcj0iMCIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==

To hear back on opportunities to book Parvati for an event in your area, please fill out the form below. We will normally be in touch within 24 hours.

Your name: Your email: Your location (city, country): Your phone number (with country code)

Are you the owner of a studio or venue?

Yoga Studio
Performance Venue
Other

Choose the events you are interested in:

Bhakti Sounds
YEM Workshop
The Healing Power of Sound
Life Makeover
Speaking Appearance
YOGABOMB
When are the best times to contact you? Please indicate your time zone as well as your preferred days/times for contact.

Thank you for submitting a booking inquiry. We will normally respond within one business day.

Return to EVENTS

Return to CONNECT

LATEST UPDATES

THANK YOU

Thank you for submitting a booking inquiry. Your message has been received and we normally respond within 24 hours. For immediate assistance, please call +1 647 477 3214.

earth heart open sky for ptv3 all red-05

WHY YOGA IN THE NIGHTCLUB

I am often asked what inspired me to bring yogic expression into the club scene. I answer easily. Yoga In the Nightclub is a natural expression of who I am as a musical artist and dedicated yogini. Yoga is not a physical practice but a way of life. It is about learning to be present in all one does, to see the divine here, now, in this moment. As such, yoga is everywhere. It is about feeling connected to something much greater than our limited ego or will. It is about being in service to life, feeling interconnected to that very life force. Yoga In The Nightclub is a celebration of life and a reminder that we can find awakened presence everywhere.

Yoga in the West is mostly known as a series of bendy physical exercises. Yet there is much more to it than fitness. Yoga’s systematic breath and body exercises, designed to clear the subtle channels in our energy system, prepare us for meditation, through which we may experience a life inspired by our interconnected, multidimensional true nature. Our body, that once was seen as “mine”, is no longer our identity, but a gift on loan from the divine. We care for it, but we are not attached to it. The practice of yoga offers us the opportunity to experience the transmutation of matter into pure light, embody the multidimensional and rest in the eternal.

earth heart open sky for ptv3 all red-05

WE ARE ALL CONNECTED

Hatha yoga, the physical practice of yoga, is just one of many aspects of yoga, which range from selfless service to astrology and prayer. The Sanskrit word “yoga” most simply translates to “union”, implying that the practice of any yoga will bring together our perceived sense of separateness. As a whole, yoga is an ancient science of life. It is a practical method of shedding excess and bringing us back from the self-delusion of separation from the divine so that we may realize our inherent interconnection to and ultimate oneness with it.

As we begin to understand that yoga is everywhere, we come to see how we are all connected in vast ways far beyond the limitations of our personal will and ego. What I do affects you, and vice versa. We are one earth family. At the heart of it all, we share the same heartbeat. Breathe to be. We are one.

earth heart open sky for ptv3 all red-05

AWAKENED LIVING

When we are open, life blossoms, just as a flower opens to welcome the morning sun.  We see that the sun, though it is millions of light years away, has a tender yet powerful relationship with the flower, as do the rain and the clouds. From this perspective we see that we are part of the whole. Life is a symphonic masterpiece with which, when we are open, we are completely resonant.

As we come to understand our oneness, we can revel in it with wonder and joy. We can consider in awe how immense it all is. We can let go of the idea that an illusory, isolated sense of self could possibly be in control, and open to an exquisite unfolding of life in absolute perfection. Our actions become not about “me” but about the whole. Each moment is integrated within the whole. No one decision is separate.

When we begin to see that each decision we make affects not just ourselves but everyone and everything on the planet, we act with more compassion. When we have more compassion, we realize the impact of our actions and we naturally want less and practice more kindness. As stewards of the Earth, we each are called to learn to live in harmony with ourselves, each other and our planet. We all breathe the same air and live on the same living organism, our planet. Varied in race and creed, we are all one family, children of the same mother, the planet Earth.

earth heart open sky for ptv3 all red-05

THE OPPORTUNITY FOR GRACE

In each moment, there is infinite grace. By becoming more conscious as we practice yoga on the mat, at work, at play or in the nightclub, we let go of the unnecessary and develop greater internal spaciousness which blooms throughout our lives. In this space new life and possibilities arise.

As we rest our awareness on the simple purity and grace of the breath, we realize - we are alive! We let go of wanting things from the future and the past and open to what is here and now. We feel as vast as the sky and rooted in the richness of this moment.

When we “breathe to be”, we understand our interconnection. We see that we are not the doers but a part of the whole, the same energy that is in the flowers and in the stars. We know that our essence is divine - from which we have come, to which we return.

CONTACT PARVATI
Send a message to Parvati via the form below.
Thank you for your message! Wishing you a positive possibilities day, Parvati
Permission to share your message on Parvati.tv? Your email address will never be revealed or shared.
[si-contact-form form='1']
[si-contact-form form='2']
[si-contact-form form='3']

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

[si-contact-form form='3']
[si-contact-form form='4']
REQUEST DVD
Please fill out your details in the form below to receive a review copy of the YEM: Yoga as Energy Medicine DVD.
Your request has been received! Wishing you a positive possibilities day, Parvati
WHAT LIGHT GETS YOU THROUGH YOUR DAY?

Thank you for sharing your light. All submissions are reviewed personally and may be posted here if you have so agreed.

To stay in touch, click here to subscribe.

Permission to share your message on Parvati.TV? We will never reveal your email address.

WHAT IS ON YOUR BUCKET LIST?

Thank you for sharing your light. All submissions are reviewed personally and may be posted here if you have so agreed.

To stay in touch, click here to subscribe.

Permission to share your message on Parvati.TV? We will never reveal your email address.

PARVATI'S NEW SINGLE - MARCH 2016
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL2NNZ1BvUVA4Q3hjP3JlbD0wJnNob3dpbmZvPTAmYXV0b3BsYXk9MSIgZnJhbWVib3JkZXI9IjAiIGFsbG93ZnVsbHNjcmVlbj48L2lmcmFtZT4=
I AM LIGHT

To hear back on opportunities to book Parvati for an event in your area, please fill out the form below. We will normally be in touch within 24 hours.

Your name: Your email: Your location (city, country): Your phone number (with country code)

Are you the owner of a studio or venue?

Yoga Studio
Performance Venue
Other

Choose the events you are interested in:

I Am Light Concert
I Am Light Studio
YEM Workshop
When are the best times to contact you? Please indicate your time zone as well as your preferred days/times for contact.

Thank you for submitting a booking inquiry. We will normally respond within one business day.

Feel free to follow up with us directly at any time:

Rishi Deva, CEO, Kupid's Play Records
+1 647 477 3214 | [email protected]

Pranada Devi, Communications Manager, Kupid's Play Records
+1 416 805 9894 | [email protected]

Let me know how yoga and YEM have touched your life. You can send a link to a video by you if you would like. Comments may be shared on my website if you check the "permission to share" box.
Thank you for your message! Wishing you a positive possibilities day, Parvati
Permission to share your message on Parvati.tv? Your email address will never be revealed or shared.
SHARE YOUR YOGA
I am light!

Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gone, gone beyond. Oh what awakening!
Gone, gone beyond. Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!
I am light, in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!

Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
I am the light, liquid gold light
I am in delight! Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!
I am light, in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!

I am the light (gate gate), liquid gold light (paragate)
I am in delight (gate gate) transforming the night (paragate)

Gone, gone beyond (gate gate)! Oh what awakening! (paragate) (I am)
Gone, gone beyond (gate gate)! Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight
I am light, dancing through the night
I am light, in delight
I am light, dancing through the night

I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light (gate gate)
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light (paragate)
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light

I am light!

© 2015 Parvati Devi
PGlmcmFtZSBzdHlsZT0id2lkdGg6NzAwcHg7aGVpZ2h0OjQwMHB4IiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vczMuYW1hem9uYXdzLmNvbS9vbmxpbmUuZmxpcGh0bWw1LmNvbS9ub3JpbC9iY2toL2luZGV4Lmh0bWwiICBzZWFtbGVzcz0ic2VhbWxlc3MiIHNjcm9sbGluZz0ibm8iIGZyYW1lYm9yZGVyPSIwIiBhbGxvd3RyYW5zcGFyZW5jeT0idHJ1ZSIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPSJ0cnVlIiA+PC9pZnJhbWU+