Feeling Stuck in Old Habits? Understanding is the First Step to Freedom

Have you ever decided to change a tendency in yourself that you didn’t like, but notice that you still do it? Do thoughts cross your mind like “Why am I in this place again?” or even “What’s wrong with me?” If so, please read this post. I believe that in it, you can find the key to lasting change.

Last week, we began to look at the three-step process of transformation: 1) to understand, 2) to witness, and 3) to release. Our tendencies that block us from inner peace will not just disappear because we want to get rid of them. We must begin with step one: understanding.

To understand is “to stand in knowing”. We are both grounded in what is, and receptive to change. The more we understand our tendencies, the more aware we become. In that awareness, we can let go of what blocks the peace that is our true nature.

We all have habits or aspects of our personalities that interfere with inner peace. Many of us put a lot of effort—consciously or unconsciously—into trying to conceal them from ourselves or others. By doing this, it is as though we send our life-force energy into an eddy, cutting ourselves off from the ocean of life. We heal as we become aware of how painful this is. Understanding is the first step to freedom.

When we repeat a tendency over and over despite our intentions to “do better”, we need to understand that something within us is perceiving a benefit from this habit (or maybe even addiction). If we look deeper, we would see that in some way, it reinforces our sense of feeling separate. We express separateness by feeling “greater than”, “less than”, “apart from”, or “all about” what is. When we feel greater than, we are in egoic pride. Feeling less than is also an egoic distortion in the exact opposite way. Moving into isolation, for a person who is truly introverted, in order to heal and gain energy, feels deeply energizing. But if we feel “apart from”, for example sorry for ourselves or trying to hide from life, we are in pain. The opposite is also painful, when we think that everything happening around us is “all about” us.

Seeing this moment and any of these tendencies which may be present exactly as they are, without judgment, we come to understand that we are in the impossibilities. That feeling of disconnected self will continually be in wanting: hungry for reinforcement, needy for attention, desperate for love. But seeing life through the lens of this broken self can never be satisfying—because it is based on something unreal: that you are separate from the whole. Quite simply, that is not possible. We are a part of and exist within the fabric of life. To see anything else is an illusion, perpetuated by our attachment to distorted perceptions of reality.

What Are You Afraid Of?

Imagine a sailor who is terrified of snakes. Every time he steps onto a deck where ropes are coiled, he panics. When someone goes to hand him a coil of rope, he reacts with rage and upset, as though the other person is endangering his life. He continually mistakes inert, harmless rope for the snakes of his nightmares. As such, he spends his days miserable and reactive.

This may seem far-fetched. However, we all do this to some extent. We react to our illusory misperceptions. It doesn’t matter what you call it. We each have our own version—maybe even multiple versions—of a coiled rope appearing as a snake. It could be the idea that eating chocolate cake will make us happy (as I mentioned last week), or that we have to do all our tasks perfectly to feel safe, or that we have to have everyone’s approval in order to feel loved. Like our friend on the boat, we will not find freedom until we understand that we are projecting something unreal onto this moment. As I mentioned earlier, we repeat tendencies because we perceive a benefit from them. We will enable them until we understand why we are doing so.

Perhaps at one point in the past, the sailor did live among many deadly snakes and he survived by being perpetually alert and ready to flee. But now that habitual pattern no longer serves him. In understanding, he can see that he is trying to live the present moment as though it was the past, instead of being receptive to the moment as it is. Part of him incorrectly believes that he needs this behaviour to survive. But it’s not true. That rope is, indeed, just a rope. When he recognizes that this pattern will never bring him happiness, and that the rope is just a rope, as the grass is green and the sky is blue, he has taken the first step to lasting change. In so doing, he understands, that is, stands under knowing, and aligns with the loving support, of Nature. Then, once established in understanding, he can witness any fear or lingering reactivity from this tendency with clarity, so that he eventually will release his attachment to it.

Practice Understanding

Try this exercise to continue to deepen your practice of understanding.

Consider a few situations when you reacted strongly, even disproportionately, to something. Or, consider times when you repeated a painful tendency despite trying to choose otherwise. In each case, ask yourself:

  • What did I feel in that moment?
  • What was the illusion that I was projecting onto the situation that made me feel that way?
  • How does this illusion keep me feeling “greater than”, “less than”, “apart from”, or “all about”?
  • In full understanding, how could I see the situation differently?

From my heart to yours,
Parvati

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

PGlmcmFtZSBzcmM9J2h0dHBzOi8vcGFydmF0aS51czkubGlzdC1tYW5hZ2UuY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91PWZmZDQ2MDdiODUzNjMxNjI2NjA1NmI5MzgmaWQ9NTM4M2YyMTczMScgc3R5bGU9J2JvcmRlcjowJyB3aWR0aD0nMTAwJScgaGVpZ2h0PScxMDAlJz48L2lmcmFtZT4=
PGlmcmFtZSBzcmM9Imh0dHA6Ly9lZXB1cmwuY29tL2JsY05SdiIgc3R5bGU9IndpZHRoOjEwMCU7IGhlaWdodDogMTAwJTsiPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL2NwNXJybkVxQVpJP3JlbD0wJnNob3dpbmZvPTAiIGZyYW1lYm9yZGVyPSIwIiBhbGxvd2Z1bGxzY3JlZW4+PC9pZnJhbWU+
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iNTYwIiBoZWlnaHQ9IjMxNSIgc3JjPSJodHRwczovL3d3dy55b3V0dWJlLmNvbS9lbWJlZC9vNDdxTTBFemFiQT9saXN0PVBMcUZuTWlhRWtfX2NXcUhneHZzTW5MTzJkSXk4XzlXcGEmYW1wO2NvbnRyb2xzPTAmYW1wO3Nob3dpbmZvPTAiIGZyYW1lYm9yZGVyPSIwIiBhbGxvd2Z1bGxzY3JlZW4+PC9pZnJhbWU+
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0xMDAlIiBoZWlnaHQ9IjEwMCUiIHNyYz0iaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vZW1iZWQvdmlkZW9zZXJpZXM/bGlzdD1QTHFGbk1pYUVrX19mZkZIVndjODhXeGQ2WnVlUnFCUXh5IiBmcmFtZWJvcmRlcj0iMCIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL3ZpZGVvc2VyaWVzP2xpc3Q9UExxRm5NaWFFa19fZUZMZGk4bGs5ZmV2dFRXMTVidFFxSyIgZnJhbWVib3JkZXI9IjAiIGFsbG93ZnVsbHNjcmVlbj48L2lmcmFtZT4=
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL3ZpZGVvc2VyaWVzP2xpc3Q9UExxRm5NaWFFa19fZlRnVVVDdEsyUU5vWk5mdWNEM1ptMyIgZnJhbWVib3JkZXI9IjAiIGFsbG93ZnVsbHNjcmVlbj48L2lmcmFtZT4=
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iNjIwIiBoZWlnaHQ9IjM2MCIgc3JjPSJodHRwczovL3d3dy55b3V0dWJlLmNvbS9lbWJlZC9mSXI0UVpmOG5SND9yZWw9MCIgZnJhbWVib3JkZXI9IjAiIGFsbG93ZnVsbHNjcmVlbj48L2lmcmFtZT4=
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL2hqUlo5RTM1NjRZP3JlbD0wIiBmcmFtZWJvcmRlcj0iMCIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL2lCdC1SZG96d2VnP3JlbD0wIiBmcmFtZWJvcmRlcj0iMCIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL3JuLTNMbWp6R0tFP3JlbD0wIiBmcmFtZWJvcmRlcj0iMCIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPjwvaWZyYW1lPg==

To hear back on opportunities to book Parvati for an event in your area, please fill out the form below. We will normally be in touch within 24 hours.

Your name: Your email: Your location (city, country): Your phone number (with country code)

Are you the owner of a studio or venue?

Yoga Studio
Performance Venue
Other

Choose the events you are interested in:

Bhakti Sounds
YEM Workshop
The Healing Power of Sound
Life Makeover
Speaking Appearance
YOGABOMB
When are the best times to contact you? Please indicate your time zone as well as your preferred days/times for contact.

Thank you for submitting a booking inquiry. We will normally respond within one business day.

Return to EVENTS

Return to CONNECT

LATEST UPDATES

THANK YOU

Thank you for submitting a booking inquiry. Your message has been received and we normally respond within 24 hours. For immediate assistance, please call +1 647 477 3214.

earth heart open sky for ptv3 all red-05

WHY YOGA IN THE NIGHTCLUB

I am often asked what inspired me to bring yogic expression into the club scene. I answer easily. Yoga In the Nightclub is a natural expression of who I am as a musical artist and dedicated yogini. Yoga is not a physical practice but a way of life. It is about learning to be present in all one does, to see the divine here, now, in this moment. As such, yoga is everywhere. It is about feeling connected to something much greater than our limited ego or will. It is about being in service to life, feeling interconnected to that very life force. Yoga In The Nightclub is a celebration of life and a reminder that we can find awakened presence everywhere.

Yoga in the West is mostly known as a series of bendy physical exercises. Yet there is much more to it than fitness. Yoga’s systematic breath and body exercises, designed to clear the subtle channels in our energy system, prepare us for meditation, through which we may experience a life inspired by our interconnected, multidimensional true nature. Our body, that once was seen as “mine”, is no longer our identity, but a gift on loan from the divine. We care for it, but we are not attached to it. The practice of yoga offers us the opportunity to experience the transmutation of matter into pure light, embody the multidimensional and rest in the eternal.

earth heart open sky for ptv3 all red-05

WE ARE ALL CONNECTED

Hatha yoga, the physical practice of yoga, is just one of many aspects of yoga, which range from selfless service to astrology and prayer. The Sanskrit word “yoga” most simply translates to “union”, implying that the practice of any yoga will bring together our perceived sense of separateness. As a whole, yoga is an ancient science of life. It is a practical method of shedding excess and bringing us back from the self-delusion of separation from the divine so that we may realize our inherent interconnection to and ultimate oneness with it.

As we begin to understand that yoga is everywhere, we come to see how we are all connected in vast ways far beyond the limitations of our personal will and ego. What I do affects you, and vice versa. We are one earth family. At the heart of it all, we share the same heartbeat. Breathe to be. We are one.

earth heart open sky for ptv3 all red-05

AWAKENED LIVING

When we are open, life blossoms, just as a flower opens to welcome the morning sun.  We see that the sun, though it is millions of light years away, has a tender yet powerful relationship with the flower, as do the rain and the clouds. From this perspective we see that we are part of the whole. Life is a symphonic masterpiece with which, when we are open, we are completely resonant.

As we come to understand our oneness, we can revel in it with wonder and joy. We can consider in awe how immense it all is. We can let go of the idea that an illusory, isolated sense of self could possibly be in control, and open to an exquisite unfolding of life in absolute perfection. Our actions become not about “me” but about the whole. Each moment is integrated within the whole. No one decision is separate.

When we begin to see that each decision we make affects not just ourselves but everyone and everything on the planet, we act with more compassion. When we have more compassion, we realize the impact of our actions and we naturally want less and practice more kindness. As stewards of the Earth, we each are called to learn to live in harmony with ourselves, each other and our planet. We all breathe the same air and live on the same living organism, our planet. Varied in race and creed, we are all one family, children of the same mother, the planet Earth.

earth heart open sky for ptv3 all red-05

THE OPPORTUNITY FOR GRACE

In each moment, there is infinite grace. By becoming more conscious as we practice yoga on the mat, at work, at play or in the nightclub, we let go of the unnecessary and develop greater internal spaciousness which blooms throughout our lives. In this space new life and possibilities arise.

As we rest our awareness on the simple purity and grace of the breath, we realize - we are alive! We let go of wanting things from the future and the past and open to what is here and now. We feel as vast as the sky and rooted in the richness of this moment.

When we “breathe to be”, we understand our interconnection. We see that we are not the doers but a part of the whole, the same energy that is in the flowers and in the stars. We know that our essence is divine - from which we have come, to which we return.

CONTACT PARVATI
Send a message to Parvati via the form below.
Thank you for your message! Wishing you a positive possibilities day, Parvati
Permission to share your message on Parvati.tv? Your email address will never be revealed or shared.
[si-contact-form form='1']
[si-contact-form form='2']
[si-contact-form form='3']

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

SUPPORT PARVATI

Other Amount: “CAD”

[si-contact-form form='3']
[si-contact-form form='4']
REQUEST DVD
Please fill out your details in the form below to receive a review copy of the YEM: Yoga as Energy Medicine DVD.
Your request has been received! Wishing you a positive possibilities day, Parvati
WHAT LIGHT GETS YOU THROUGH YOUR DAY?

Thank you for sharing your light. All submissions are reviewed personally and may be posted here if you have so agreed.

To stay in touch, click here to subscribe.

Permission to share your message on Parvati.TV? We will never reveal your email address.

WHAT IS ON YOUR BUCKET LIST?

Thank you for sharing your light. All submissions are reviewed personally and may be posted here if you have so agreed.

To stay in touch, click here to subscribe.

Permission to share your message on Parvati.TV? We will never reveal your email address.

PARVATI'S NEW SINGLE - MARCH 2016
PGlmcmFtZSB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL2VtYmVkL2NNZ1BvUVA4Q3hjP3JlbD0wJnNob3dpbmZvPTAmYXV0b3BsYXk9MSIgZnJhbWVib3JkZXI9IjAiIGFsbG93ZnVsbHNjcmVlbj48L2lmcmFtZT4=
I AM LIGHT

To hear back on opportunities to book Parvati for an event in your area, please fill out the form below. We will normally be in touch within 24 hours.

Your name: Your email: Your location (city, country): Your phone number (with country code)

Are you the owner of a studio or venue?

Yoga Studio
Performance Venue
Other

Choose the events you are interested in:

I Am Light Concert
I Am Light Studio
YEM Workshop
When are the best times to contact you? Please indicate your time zone as well as your preferred days/times for contact.

Thank you for submitting a booking inquiry. We will normally respond within one business day.

Feel free to follow up with us directly at any time:

Rishi Deva, CEO, Kupid's Play Records
+1 647 477 3214 | [email protected]

Pranada Devi, Communications Manager, Kupid's Play Records
+1 416 805 9894 | [email protected]

Let me know how yoga and YEM have touched your life. You can send a link to a video by you if you would like. Comments may be shared on my website if you check the "permission to share" box.
Thank you for your message! Wishing you a positive possibilities day, Parvati
Permission to share your message on Parvati.tv? Your email address will never be revealed or shared.
SHARE YOUR YOGA
I am light!

Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gone, gone beyond. Oh what awakening!
Gone, gone beyond. Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!
I am light, in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!

Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
I am the light, liquid gold light
I am in delight! Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!
I am light, in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!

I am the light (gate gate), liquid gold light (paragate)
I am in delight (gate gate) transforming the night (paragate)

Gone, gone beyond (gate gate)! Oh what awakening! (paragate) (I am)
Gone, gone beyond (gate gate)! Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight
I am light, dancing through the night
I am light, in delight
I am light, dancing through the night

I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light (gate gate)
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light (paragate)
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light

I am light!

© 2015 Parvati Devi
PGlmcmFtZSBzdHlsZT0id2lkdGg6NzAwcHg7aGVpZ2h0OjQwMHB4IiBzcmM9Imh0dHBzOi8vczMuYW1hem9uYXdzLmNvbS9vbmxpbmUuZmxpcGh0bWw1LmNvbS9ub3JpbC9iY2toL2luZGV4Lmh0bWwiICBzZWFtbGVzcz0ic2VhbWxlc3MiIHNjcm9sbGluZz0ibm8iIGZyYW1lYm9yZGVyPSIwIiBhbGxvd3RyYW5zcGFyZW5jeT0idHJ1ZSIgYWxsb3dmdWxsc2NyZWVuPSJ0cnVlIiA+PC9pZnJhbWU+