How to Succeed at Your New Year’s Resolutions, Part 1: Wanting Won’t Get You What You Want

Parvati | How to Succeed at Your New Year's Resolutions, Part 1: Wanting Won’t Get You What You Want

Thank you to all those who have contacted me to help stop seismic bombing in the Arctic Ocean. So grateful! We are still looking for volunteers who can help with company research, specifically, we are looking to uncover the companies that are invested in profiting from exploiting the Arctic. If you are interested in lending a hand to this work, please contact me directly at [email protected].

We are working on building a comprehensive website for the great content I have been putting together: videos, music, words and more; as well as a site to represent our work at parvati.org. We should be seeing these live soon. In the meantime, here is some food for thought to help you start your New Year with some extra inspiration:

HOW TO SUCCEED AT YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

WANTING WON’T GET YOU WHAT YOU WANT

Many of us want to make lasting changes in our lives. As New Year’s Day comes around, we feel excited about the possibilities it brings. With a wish for better times ahead, we write a list of ways this year will be different. But as life’s challenges return to our lives after festive gaiety, we find ourselves once again feeling stifled by the things we had hoped would be different. Despite our best efforts, it seems we cannot succeed at our New Year’s resolutions. How come?

For the most part, we do what Einstein said was not possible: we try to solve problems with the same energy that created them. We feel unhappy, so we want things to change. But wanting is the source of our unhappiness, because it comes from a sense of lack. When we want what is right here and now to be different than it is, we are resisting the moment in some way. In so doing, we rob ourselves of being able to experience the fullness of life, as it is. We suffer because we are attached to the idea that the moment should be somehow other than it is.

Like chasing the proverbial carrot in front of a donkey, we can feel like the things we want are just always out of reach, no matter how hard we work, not matter how much mojo we put into our efforts, no matter how determined we may be about our New Year’s resolutions. That is because wanting comes from a place within us that feels broken and separate from the universe.

To make New Year’s resolutions or any change that will last, we must first understand that though our feeling broken or lacking may seem true, in essence, it is an illusion. In truth, we are always connected to and a part of a loving universe. We are always loved and never alone. In that understanding, we come into contact with our wholeness, our worth, our goodness, our ability to make real and lasting changes.

But how many of us feel continually loved? If this is the truth, why don’t we feel this way all the time? We are habituated into projecting ideas onto what is happening in our lives, trying to create how we want life to be. In a way, we are attached to trying to manipulate the moment so it suits the needs of our ego. The problem with this is that no matter how much we try to change our lives, we cannot, because first we must get real about the nature of wanting.

When we project our wanting onto what is, we continue to feel unhappy, because we are not seeing what is clearly. The problem is not ourselves or life, but our perspective fuelled by wanting. No matter how small or lofty our resolution list may be, we will not succeed in actualizing it if it comes from wanting. So to succeed at our New Year’s resolutions, we must first understand that we are not seeing clearly, because we are seeing life through the illusion of wanting.

Permanent happiness cannot be built upon mirages, no matter how hard we try. A resolve cannot come from an imposition of our limited ego or will upon life. Such an imposition may provide occasional, temporary and limited effects. But they don’t last because we are working from a divided sense of self. Our personal will, driven by wanting, is limited in its potency. It is manufactured by our ego, which is divided from the whole. A true and lasting resolve comes from clarity, free from wanting and rooted in the knowing that the universe has our back.

When you soften to and meet exactly what is going on in your life right here, right now, you stop running from the past or towards the future. You begin to see your life with greater sobriety and clarity. In realizing that wanting is empty and not the way to lasting change, you stop being attached to its endless cycles of unhappiness.

Our ego says that is we stop wanting, we will be stuck right here forever in this unhappy place. But the opposite is true. But letting go of wanting, we step into our sense of being interconnected with the whole and from this place we contact our deepest joy and our true power, that is connected with divine will. In this place, your heart’s desires emerge more clear than ever, and you feel inspired to bring them to life.

As you let go of wanting, you begin to create more space in your life to be present for it all. In so doing, you open to yourself, and to life. It is then that you stop trying to change everything in life to meet your ego’s ideas of how things should be, and instead contact the divine will that arises from your joy. Touching your deepest joy lights the way to your connection with and support from the universe. The universe vibrates at the frequency of joy. Your joy is the universe’s joy. When you contact your joy, not only are you in touch with the whole of the universe, but you tap into its infinite support and resources to realize your true magnificence.

EXERCISE

To have lasting results, you must go deeper, beyond relying on your limited ego or will to make change. So between now and the time I post Part 2 of this blog series on resolutions, I invite you to do a little experiment. See if you can begin to notice wanting in your life. In which ways are you perceiving life as perpetual lack? In which way do you feel you are constantly chasing that proverbial carrot, always just out of reach?

When you notice you are in wanting, gently remind yourself that those thoughts will not lead to lasting joy. Through they may appear real and tempting, think of them a bit like white sugar – sweet for a bit, but mad of empty calories with no lasting nourishment.

By truly understanding how wanting leads to suffering, you begin to let go of being so attached to it. As you really get that wanting is a mirage, you will no longer give it power. It is then that you set the foundation for lasting change.

Parvati Devi headshotI post on Life in the Positive Possibilities every Sunday with love. If you have enjoyed this, you may wish to listen to my musical works, check out my upcoming book Confessions of a Former Yoga Junkie: A Revolutionary Life Makeover for the Sincere Spiritual Seeker, and find out more about me at www.parvati.tv.

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Parvati

 

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WHY YOGA IN THE NIGHTCLUB

I am often asked what inspired me to bring yogic expression into the club scene. I answer easily. Yoga In the Nightclub is a natural expression of who I am as a musical artist and dedicated yogini. Yoga is not a physical practice but a way of life. It is about learning to be present in all one does, to see the divine here, now, in this moment. As such, yoga is everywhere. It is about feeling connected to something much greater than our limited ego or will. It is about being in service to life, feeling interconnected to that very life force. Yoga In The Nightclub is a celebration of life and a reminder that we can find awakened presence everywhere.

Yoga in the West is mostly known as a series of bendy physical exercises. Yet there is much more to it than fitness. Yoga’s systematic breath and body exercises, designed to clear the subtle channels in our energy system, prepare us for meditation, through which we may experience a life inspired by our interconnected, multidimensional true nature. Our body, that once was seen as “mine”, is no longer our identity, but a gift on loan from the divine. We care for it, but we are not attached to it. The practice of yoga offers us the opportunity to experience the transmutation of matter into pure light, embody the multidimensional and rest in the eternal.

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WE ARE ALL CONNECTED

Hatha yoga, the physical practice of yoga, is just one of many aspects of yoga, which range from selfless service to astrology and prayer. The Sanskrit word “yoga” most simply translates to “union”, implying that the practice of any yoga will bring together our perceived sense of separateness. As a whole, yoga is an ancient science of life. It is a practical method of shedding excess and bringing us back from the self-delusion of separation from the divine so that we may realize our inherent interconnection to and ultimate oneness with it.

As we begin to understand that yoga is everywhere, we come to see how we are all connected in vast ways far beyond the limitations of our personal will and ego. What I do affects you, and vice versa. We are one earth family. At the heart of it all, we share the same heartbeat. Breathe to be. We are one.

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AWAKENED LIVING

When we are open, life blossoms, just as a flower opens to welcome the morning sun.  We see that the sun, though it is millions of light years away, has a tender yet powerful relationship with the flower, as do the rain and the clouds. From this perspective we see that we are part of the whole. Life is a symphonic masterpiece with which, when we are open, we are completely resonant.

As we come to understand our oneness, we can revel in it with wonder and joy. We can consider in awe how immense it all is. We can let go of the idea that an illusory, isolated sense of self could possibly be in control, and open to an exquisite unfolding of life in absolute perfection. Our actions become not about “me” but about the whole. Each moment is integrated within the whole. No one decision is separate.

When we begin to see that each decision we make affects not just ourselves but everyone and everything on the planet, we act with more compassion. When we have more compassion, we realize the impact of our actions and we naturally want less and practice more kindness. As stewards of the Earth, we each are called to learn to live in harmony with ourselves, each other and our planet. We all breathe the same air and live on the same living organism, our planet. Varied in race and creed, we are all one family, children of the same mother, the planet Earth.

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THE OPPORTUNITY FOR GRACE

In each moment, there is infinite grace. By becoming more conscious as we practice yoga on the mat, at work, at play or in the nightclub, we let go of the unnecessary and develop greater internal spaciousness which blooms throughout our lives. In this space new life and possibilities arise.

As we rest our awareness on the simple purity and grace of the breath, we realize - we are alive! We let go of wanting things from the future and the past and open to what is here and now. We feel as vast as the sky and rooted in the richness of this moment.

When we “breathe to be”, we understand our interconnection. We see that we are not the doers but a part of the whole, the same energy that is in the flowers and in the stars. We know that our essence is divine - from which we have come, to which we return.

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PARVATI'S NEW SINGLE - MARCH 2016
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I AM LIGHT

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SHARE YOUR YOGA
I am light!

Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gone, gone beyond. Oh what awakening!
Gone, gone beyond. Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!
I am light, in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!

Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
I am the light, liquid gold light
I am in delight! Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!
I am light, in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!

I am the light (gate gate), liquid gold light (paragate)
I am in delight (gate gate) transforming the night (paragate)

Gone, gone beyond (gate gate)! Oh what awakening! (paragate) (I am)
Gone, gone beyond (gate gate)! Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight
I am light, dancing through the night
I am light, in delight
I am light, dancing through the night

I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light (gate gate)
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light (paragate)
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light

I am light!

© 2015 Parvati Devi
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