Ask Parvati 37: Feeling Under Attack – Part 4: Giving Voice and Making Changes

(Continued from “Understanding and Compassion“)

I woke up this morning with the words in my head: “Illness and injury are a call for needed change.”  I have been going through some big personal changes this year, and clearly this was a voice from my soul reminding me to keep on that path of transformation.

We don’t need to experience painful situations in order to grow, but often, we do end up going there. When we get colds, we know we need to slow down and take better care of ourselves. The same with physical accidents. But so too with personal injury.

When we face difficult people, it is important to not take another’s state of mind personally. We have no control over what others think or do, or how they behave. All we can do is let people know how we feel and ask kindly for them to stop if what they are doing is hurting us.

But if healthy dialogue is not possible and changes do not happen, we may need to look at deeper changes we may need to make in our life.

Perhaps, when we face challenging people and situations, we are reminded to make changes in our life. Perhaps the toxic supervisor reminds us that we really don’t like the work we are doing anyway and we had best move on from there. Perhaps the nasty boss is helping to push us out the door because really, that is where we belong, in another job. The universe has a way of making sure we learn our lessons.

Changing deep patterns in our self and in our life is not easy, because we tend to be attached to things and often live in fear. We need to learn to be ok with these shadow aspects of ourselves, and make sure we do not add insult to injury by beating ourselves up for not knowing better or doing better. I mentioned last week that change begins with acceptance. We need to accept where we are at so that we can change. We can accept the hurt, the discomfort, the rage, the desire to run towards and beat someone up or run away in fear for our lives. These are all part of the fullness of the human experience. When we watch and “stay with” the emotional flux, eventually they settle and greater wisdom arises.

When we are injured emotionally or physically by a difficult person, we may need to ask ourselves what is balanced action in response to this. The answer to this question will only arise once our reactive nature has settled. And with this, time is a great healer.

We may need to give voice and let the other person know that we found what they did hurtful. But if we are attached to the other person hearing us, or changing, inevitably we will get caught up in the the same rage-filled cycle of feeling hard done by.

Others don’t like to change any more than you do, so expecting them to see your point of view may only lead to frustration. If they do, then you can discuss ways to work together in good spirit. If they don’t, you may need to consider a different work environment.

Our lives are very short. I don’t believe we are meant to be unhappy. If you find yourself in a work or living environment with people who are unwilling to treat you with the respect you deserve, you may need to change your whereabouts, relationships, or job.

Change is part of life. All things in nature come, go and are reborn. We must not be afraid of change as it is quite literally natural. We can understand our resistance to change and where it comes from. But we must ultimately soften and embrace change.

Thank you for sending in this question about dealing with feeling attacked.

Enjoy the rest of the week and see you again on Sunday!

Parvati

Reminder: Tomorrow is the last day to send in your questions for next week’s blog entries. Please send to [email protected]

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WHY YOGA IN THE NIGHTCLUB

I am often asked what inspired me to bring yogic expression into the club scene. I answer easily. Yoga In the Nightclub is a natural expression of who I am as a musical artist and dedicated yogini. Yoga is not a physical practice but a way of life. It is about learning to be present in all one does, to see the divine here, now, in this moment. As such, yoga is everywhere. It is about feeling connected to something much greater than our limited ego or will. It is about being in service to life, feeling interconnected to that very life force. Yoga In The Nightclub is a celebration of life and a reminder that we can find awakened presence everywhere.

Yoga in the West is mostly known as a series of bendy physical exercises. Yet there is much more to it than fitness. Yoga’s systematic breath and body exercises, designed to clear the subtle channels in our energy system, prepare us for meditation, through which we may experience a life inspired by our interconnected, multidimensional true nature. Our body, that once was seen as “mine”, is no longer our identity, but a gift on loan from the divine. We care for it, but we are not attached to it. The practice of yoga offers us the opportunity to experience the transmutation of matter into pure light, embody the multidimensional and rest in the eternal.

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WE ARE ALL CONNECTED

Hatha yoga, the physical practice of yoga, is just one of many aspects of yoga, which range from selfless service to astrology and prayer. The Sanskrit word “yoga” most simply translates to “union”, implying that the practice of any yoga will bring together our perceived sense of separateness. As a whole, yoga is an ancient science of life. It is a practical method of shedding excess and bringing us back from the self-delusion of separation from the divine so that we may realize our inherent interconnection to and ultimate oneness with it.

As we begin to understand that yoga is everywhere, we come to see how we are all connected in vast ways far beyond the limitations of our personal will and ego. What I do affects you, and vice versa. We are one earth family. At the heart of it all, we share the same heartbeat. Breathe to be. We are one.

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AWAKENED LIVING

When we are open, life blossoms, just as a flower opens to welcome the morning sun.  We see that the sun, though it is millions of light years away, has a tender yet powerful relationship with the flower, as do the rain and the clouds. From this perspective we see that we are part of the whole. Life is a symphonic masterpiece with which, when we are open, we are completely resonant.

As we come to understand our oneness, we can revel in it with wonder and joy. We can consider in awe how immense it all is. We can let go of the idea that an illusory, isolated sense of self could possibly be in control, and open to an exquisite unfolding of life in absolute perfection. Our actions become not about “me” but about the whole. Each moment is integrated within the whole. No one decision is separate.

When we begin to see that each decision we make affects not just ourselves but everyone and everything on the planet, we act with more compassion. When we have more compassion, we realize the impact of our actions and we naturally want less and practice more kindness. As stewards of the Earth, we each are called to learn to live in harmony with ourselves, each other and our planet. We all breathe the same air and live on the same living organism, our planet. Varied in race and creed, we are all one family, children of the same mother, the planet Earth.

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THE OPPORTUNITY FOR GRACE

In each moment, there is infinite grace. By becoming more conscious as we practice yoga on the mat, at work, at play or in the nightclub, we let go of the unnecessary and develop greater internal spaciousness which blooms throughout our lives. In this space new life and possibilities arise.

As we rest our awareness on the simple purity and grace of the breath, we realize - we are alive! We let go of wanting things from the future and the past and open to what is here and now. We feel as vast as the sky and rooted in the richness of this moment.

When we “breathe to be”, we understand our interconnection. We see that we are not the doers but a part of the whole, the same energy that is in the flowers and in the stars. We know that our essence is divine - from which we have come, to which we return.

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PARVATI'S NEW SINGLE - MARCH 2016
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I AM LIGHT

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Let me know how yoga and YEM have touched your life. You can send a link to a video by you if you would like. Comments may be shared on my website if you check the "permission to share" box.
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SHARE YOUR YOGA
I am light!

Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gone, gone beyond. Oh what awakening!
Gone, gone beyond. Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!
I am light, in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!

Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi swaha
I am the light, liquid gold light
I am in delight! Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!
I am light, in delight!
I am light, dancing through the night!

I am the light (gate gate), liquid gold light (paragate)
I am in delight (gate gate) transforming the night (paragate)

Gone, gone beyond (gate gate)! Oh what awakening! (paragate) (I am)
Gone, gone beyond (gate gate)! Swaha!

I am light, dancing in delight
I am light, dancing through the night
I am light, in delight
I am light, dancing through the night

I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light (gate gate)
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light (paragate)
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light
I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light, I am light

I am light!

© 2015 Parvati Devi
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